Monthly Archives: January 2022

cremation service in North Versailles, PA

Common Grief Myths

Most people don’t understand grief at all even though everyone will experience grief after a cremation service in North Versailles, PA at some point. There are many myths surrounding loss and grieving that muddy the waters and, in many ways, make it difficult for people to deal with loss in a healthy way. They include:  

1. Staying Connected to the Deceased Makes You Crazy

How many movies have you seen where the widow is worried over and considered “crazy” for holding onto her dead husband’s shirts or talking to him at his gravesite? This couldn’t be further from the truth. Its healthy to continue your connection with the deceased. In fact, many cultures around the world have deep tradition in connecting with the deceased through rituals, songs, conversations, songs and keepsakes. The book Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief says, “remaining connected seemed to facilitate the bereaved’s ability to cope with loss and accompanying changes in their lives.” 

2. A Death is a Loss

While people often refer to death as a “loss”, death doesn’t mean that someone is gone forever. Their memory, goodness, and even wisdom can live on through the people they met and loved in life. After all, how can you lose someone when you hold them dearly and deeply in their heart?  

3. You Need to Move on from the Loss

Oftentimes those in mourning feel a societal pressure to move on from the loss. However, there isn’t really a way to move on or detach from a loss. Grief doesn’t go away. Iead, it changes. In the early months you might grieve by sitting in the dark and crying, but as time goes on you might grieve by lighting a candle once a year. Also, there shouldn’t be any pressure to leave the deceased behind. The deceased can, and often should, always be a part of you and your life, even though that part may change with time.  

4. Remembering the Deceased Means Staying in the Past

Remembering a loved one doesn’t mean staying in the past, it can mean connecting to them in a new and meaningful way that changes as time goes on. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the only way to stay connected to the deceased is to remember past times. But your relationship with the deceased doesn’t have to stay the same. Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief states, “Instead [of a static relationship, they evolve and mature right along with us”. A healthy way of grieving a loss is to keep the deceased part of new experiences and new memories.

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5. Grief Eventually Ends in Closure

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Grief is non-linear and generally has no end or “closure” when you can sign and move on completely. Grief can change over time, but it won’t ever completely go away. Eleanor Haley from What’s Your Grief says, “Grief isn’t something you go through, it’s something that becomes a part of you. It’s forever.

Patrick T. Lanigan Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. is here to help if you want to learn more about grief or North Versailles, PA cremation services. Call or visit us today. 

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Grave Markers and Funeral Homes

There are lots of different kinds of grave markers you can choose after a funeral home service in North Versailles, PA, and you often have a choice as to which kind of grave marker you can use. So, how do you choose? You can start by learning the most common types. They include:

1. Bevel Markers

Bevel markers are designed to lay flat on the ground at the head of the grave with the back slightly raised to create an upright illusion. They are often polished and finished with engravings, inscriptions, artwork, and other touches.

2. Etched Portrait Marker

Etched portrait markers are flat or bevel markers that have an etched portrait of the deceased on their surface.

3. Flat Markers

These grave markers are often the most affordable as they are flush to the ground and only about three to four inches thick. Flat markers are usually rectangular in shape and have a polished finish with the common inscriptions, carvings, and symbols.  

4. Sculptures

Sculpture markers are usually either a separate statue or sculped as part of the tombstone itself. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes from angels to hearts and much more.

5. Bronze Markers

Made out of bronze, these markers are attached to another grave marker. 

6. Military Marker

Veterans usually receive special grave markers to denote their military service. These markers are usually upright headstones or tombstones and are often provided by the government. 

7. Niche Markers

If you choose to bury your loved one’s remains in a columbarium you can choose to add a niche marker. These markers denote which niche belongs to which person, making it easy for the bereaved to visit their loved one’s remains.  

8. Slant Upright Marker

These markers are simply headstones with slanted fronts. Usually, between 12 and 16 inches high, the angle of the headstone makes reading the inscription easy. They can be finished with bronze memorial plaques or other inscriptions.

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Don’t forget to think about what kind of material you want for your grave marker. There are tons of different materials to choose. Bronze and granite are both popular choices because they are strong, hardy, and cost-effective. Granite is also a good choice if you want some color as it comes in colors including gray, green, white, black, red, and even blue.

It’s important to note that there is a different between grave markers and headstones. A headstone, sometimes referred to as a tombstone, is an upright monument generally made of granite. A grave marker, however, has a flatter design and often comes with a bronze marker or inscription. You can also have a cemetery memorial marker. These are as simple as a plaque attached to a stake to mark the grave and can include a bronze plaque.

Patrick T. Lanigan Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. is here to help if you have more questions on grave markers or North Versailles, PA funeral homes. We have years of experience and are ready and willing to do whatever we can go help you in your time of loss or preplanning.

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All About Care Packages

Losing a loved one and going through their cremation service in Monroeville, PA is hard – from dealing with the emotions and stress of the loss to planning the details that go with a service. If this seems to be the case with someone you know that’s going through a loss, you should think about sending them a care package.

A care package is a package filled with some of the thing necessary to fill basic needs that might not be met in a time of loss. Care packages can include food, toiletries, grief resources and other personal touches that will help ease the bereaved’s burden and make managing their loss a bit easier.

What should you include in a care package? Anything that you think would help the bereaved or ease their pain is a valid idea. Use what you know about them and their preferences to help you decide what to include as you know them best. If you need some ideas, try thoughtful messages. Don’t forget to include a note with a thoughtful message of support and love. You can also include food. Cooking and grocery shopping might be the last thing on the bereaved’s mind, so sending food is a big help.

Stick to non-perishable foods that can be easily snacked on like canned goods, granola bars, cereal, or oatmeal, or make easily reheated meals like casseroles and soups. You can also go beyond necessities into thoughtful and comforting gifts. Candles, slippers, bath bombs, cozy blankets, and teas are always welcome. If they have children don’t forget to add coloring books or stuffed animals. Lastly, the bereaved might not have time to run to the pharmacy or drug store for basic toiletry needs. So, send a care package with anything you might replace in a bathroom including tissues, toilet paper, shampoos and conditioners, lip balm, toothpaste, or soap.

There are many benefits to care packages. For starters, sending someone a care package shows you care and makes them feel supported in their time of loss. Also, a care package allows the bereaved to spend as much time alone as they need too but still helps them feel connected to others. Finally, a care package is an actual effort to help. So often people offer to help the bereaved at the service but don’t follow through. Actually, sending a care package proves that the bereaved are supported and cared for in their difficult time.

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It’s important to note that you don’t have to feel like you need to buy and send a care package all on your own. You can always go in on one with family members or friends to share the costs and help the bereaved feel more supported by more people.

Remember, a little care package can go a long way. Patrick T. Lanigan Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. is here to help if you want to learn more about care packages or Monroeville, PA cremation services. Please stop by and visit us or give us a call for more information on what we can do for you.

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Tips for Designing a Headstone

When you’re making funeral home in Monroeville, PA one decision you’ll have to make is how to mark the memorial or gravesite. One of the most common types of grave markers is a headstone.

How do you go about designing your lost loved one’s headstone? Generally, if you’re working with a funeral director, he or she will give you pertinent information regarding that funeral home’s specific headstone purchasing and designing process. However, it doesn’t hurt for you to be familiar with the process and some key parts. Use these headstone tips to help guide you.

  • Choose a Family Representative

    While everyone in the family might want to be involved in the headstone design process, having too many cooks in the kitchen can get messy. Especially when grief is involved. It’s best to designate one family member or loved one that oversees the design and inscription process. That way, the process is streamlined and simplified for everyone.  

  • The Designer

    Headstone designers are important as they not only give you design suggestions and letterform ideas but also play a large role in capturing the essence of the deceased. Be sure to choose an experienced designer that understands your vision and can help you create a personalized memorial.  

  • Choose a Budget

    The first step is to come up with how much you can or are willing to pay. It’s difficult to come up with an average cost for a headstone because they vary so much when it comes to finish, size, material, lettering, artwork, and other personalized features. However, don’t forget to include the costs for delivery and installation in your calculations. 

  • Write an Inscription

    The inscription sometimes referred to as an epitaph, is one of the most important parts of a headstone. When choosing what you want the headstone to say, be sure to really take your time. Headstone inscriptions are permanent, so you need to ensure that its meaningful, personal, and something that will remain so for years to come. One way to ensure it will be meaningful for years to come is to avoid using cliches and generic phrases. While “In Loving Memory” is nice, it’s rather bland and doesn’t say anything specific about the deceased. Try using poems, quotes, or songs for inspiration.

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  • Learn the Different Kinds of Grave Markers

    There are a few different kinds of grave markers that you will have to choose from. What kind you choose depends on your budget, burial plot, and style preferences. The most common kinds of grave markers include flat markers like ledgers and slabs, upright monuments like headstones and mausoleums, bevels, slants, and cremation monuments like traditional urns, columbarium, and more creative urns. Don’t forget to consider what kind of material you want the grave marker to be as well.  

Patrick T. Lanigan Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. is here to help if you want more information on designing a headstone or Monroeville, PA funeral home services. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss or of preplanning.